Let me start out by saying something that you’ve probably heard a thousand times over. And should probably let sink in your head a thousand more.
Communication is EVERYTHING!!!! So let’s say you have fantasies that are not being satisfied. Ask your self these questions.
1: Have I made them known? Making sure that you’ve expressed them in depth.
2: Do I want them bad enough to keep asking for them?
3: If my partner gave in to a specific set of things and turned out not to like them would I be okay with it. And accept the fact that they atleast tried for my sake.
4: What am I willing to sacrifice to my partner in order to have my needs met?
5: Depending on the degree of the activity I wish to engage in. Have I done enough research in order to execute everything. With utmost importance to safety and comfort.
The important thing to realize is that you are a couple. And everything requires give and take. Compromise I’d say is the next biggest thing after communication.
If your partner has denied any of your fantasies or needs in the past or is currently. For any reason whatsoever please be patient. The point is your want to have fun and be pleased. Not feel obligated by because they want to do it.
The important thing is that you speak about them and let them be known. And to engage the conversations lovingly. Frustration would possibly cause discouragement for cute conversations.
Let it be known how important your desires are to you as well as theirs are to you. And not to forget that once they are out there in the open there is no taking them back. So whatever they may be make sure your ready to have that information known.
We are human and at times we can be extremely selfish, especially when it comes to sex, fetishes and kink. And I find that alot of people have an “I like this and this all I need” attitude. And leave no room for exploration. As you grow older and mature the things you like differ and change as well.
I’m not judging anyone here, I’m just being open. I’ve never understood why someone would deny their partner their fantasies. Even if it wasn’t something that you were in to, wouldn’t the fact the your partner is getting off on it make you feel good and want to do it more for them? Wouldn’t seeing them happy and pleased be more important than anything else. Yes of course you need to worry about yourself aswell but tend to your partners need and have them tend to yours. And I’m not just speaking sexually, I’m speaking non-sexual too. When you work together on every aspect of life. You’ll notice yourself becoming happier. My partner and I haven’t been together long, but because of our dynamic and the way we work in snychronicity with one another you would think that we had been together forever. Many people had said so aswell.
Now I am not saying I have everything figured out. I’m only 27 with many years to go. But I do have experience nonetheless and how small little attitude changes can manifestat themselves in bigger ways.
If you cannot get partner to do that thing you’ve always wanted. Why not try reading? Blogs, articles, forums, general information. If you can get them reading, then it would get them thinking about it and bam! You’re already a step ahead.
I personally have always hated the “try everything once” theory. I think that if you try someone once with a sceptical, unopened attitude chances are you won’t like it. But if you get rid of all reservations, make yourself comfortable and agree to give something two or three tries before making a decision, you’ll be 100% sure whether or not you like the activity you’ve just engaged in. Then you can move on from there.
And I’ll tell you by making that simple mental adjustment I have learned so much more about my self, who I am and what I want. I’ve came to love the very things that repulsed me. Or the things that I said I would never do are the ones I now beg for the most. And you learn a lot in-between. All the things that you hold deep down would surprise you when they come out.
Life, love and sex is beautiful. And what is more beautiful than your partner in the throes of passion. With a contagious smile on because their every desire and orgasm has been met?