Sex and Confidence!
After having our first threesome, I was laying in bed, wide awake. I got to thinking about confidence. Only because the night before, my nerves were a wreck. Not enough that I wasn’t able to preform, but there was still a confidence issue there. In the end, I was able to take on both the women, our night lasted about three hours.
I still couldn’t sleep though, so I spoke to one of my friends and asked her a question.
“Hey, I see that you’re awake too! I have a random question, as a woman, how important is self-confidence, self-worth when it comes to sex?
Do you think a person can be sexually confident but lack outer confidence? As in I think in amazing in bed, but I still feel ugly. Or does overall confidence play a role, like to be sexually confident, you need to feel physically and emotionally confident first?
And if you’re having an off day, what’s something that makes you change your mind.?What makes you think, hell no girl! You are Wrong! I am absolute fire.
I was Just thinking about writing a little about sex and confidence and trying to figure out where exactly the two meet”
“I think that confidence plays a huge role in sexuality but I also feel like you don’t have to be physically confident to let sexual energy take over in the bedroom.”
( I thought it was an interesting point of view. “Sexual energy.” So essentially what she was saying is that, that energy and raw desire, that sexual energy, the need and want is in itself some form of self-confidence. That once your brain shuts down, and you let your primal-self take over, you just lose yourself in the scheme of it all. That It wouldn’t matter if that day, the moments leading up to it you weren’t confident or feeling particularly good about yourself. Because the sex itself, the energy of the room, can pushed passed those emotions and then you because fully charged. That I kind of agree with also, I was not confident going in to the threesome. However, it was all I could think about the days leading up to it. Somehow, the energy of the two ladies, the energy of the room, completely changed my mind. I fed off the confidence that they both had in that moment. )
I can’t stand my body but when I get into something sexually, I know that I just lose myself and the confidence I lack just seems to go away because that isn’t the goal at hand.
( I feel like this is an important one, because so many women have body issues. Being a more full-figured woman, you are more apt to have these thoughts. Such as my partner, there’s definitely days where all she has is negative thought about herself. Even though she is extremely gorgeous, those thoughts catch up with her sometimes. You can tell a women she is beautiful a million times a day, until your blue in the face. If she doesn’t believe it or feel it for herself, there’s no changing her mind. I think what my friend was saying was, that somebody wanting you as equally as you want them, changes your state of mind. Your focus shifts, it’s no longer about how I “feel or look,” it’s about engaging the other person and making them feel good. All about the “sexual energy,” as I said before.
And letting them make you feel good. I think going in to what we did the other day, really helped with that. My partner got a boost of confidence, there was two people that wanted her, it made her feel empowered. )
I find it plays more into foreplay and the build up if anything. Or that sex can even inspire self confidence. But I do know that if I have a day where I feel I look and feel amazing, it will change how I approach someone sexually. I’m way more likely to initiate it myself if I feel good. As for changing my mind on an off day, someone convincing me I’m actually sexy and turning them on even when I don’t feel like it really helps a lot. Anything that boosts my morale helps. Self pampering, reminding myself of things I’m good at, of things I wanna try and knowing that even on shitty days I am still way more adventurous than a lot of people all that helps a lot!
( I definitely agree that sex can inspire self-confidence. Self-love and care is something that I believe is super important, doing things for yourself, taking care of yourself is such a positive thing. Even I suffer from self-confidence issues, I know some men would never admit that. I just recently got a hair cut, something so simple, made me feel so good. Often my partner and I will relax on a Friday night, do a face mask together, give each other massages, do our nails together. Just little acts of self-care that really go a long way, in terms of boosting your confidence.
The other day we went out and bought Zenith a new lingerie set, I figured she was already on a confidence high, so why not continue it? I picked up something sexy for her. When we got home, I told her to put it on. We had no plans that day, we just sat around and played games, talked about how much fun we had on the weekend. Just something as simple as sitting in the baby-doll style lingerie, all day long changed her attitude. It felt good on her, she felt she looked good, I told her she looked good. That sort of plays in to what my friend said, she felt good, she felt sexy, she was more flirty, more playful.
Having an open mind is one of the best things you could ever do for yourself! Some of our friends think we are absolutely insane, they would never try some of the sexual endeavors, that we have tried or are going to try. That also speaks volumes, the more open and adventurous you are, the more at peace you are with yourself. It takes a confident and self-assured person to put themselves out there and explore all that sex and life has to offer them. That in itself, is something to be proud of. Don’t quote me on all of this, I’m not even saying that I am right. This was just merely thought of a man that was wide awake at 3:00am )
“Her eyes widened as she entered the room, her confidence radiated to the point where it would put my manliness to shame. For she is beautiful, sensual, sexual and ultimately unstoppable. I but a humble man, kiss her feet, kiss her body, worship the goddess inside herself which she has released.”